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Lonelyhearts

(1958)

This whiny pussy wants to get a job at some newspaper. The guy who runs the paper is a complete cock, but he hires the pussy anyway "Because I enjoy seeing youth betray their promises- it lights up all the numbers on my pinball machine!" The boss makes the pussy write the advice column, and when he's not telling the pussy that everyone who writes in for advice is full of shit, he's busy getting loaded and like mentally abusing his wife. In one part for example he forces her to call herself a tramp and then when she cries he grins like a shit-eating canary. This guy's fucking hilarious.

The pussy wants to prove his boss wrong (always a good way to advance in a company), so he decides to meet some of the people who write in and try to help them for real. First he picks this broad whose crippled husband can't handle his business. His solution to the problem? He nails her! What the fuck?  This might've made sense if she was hot, but she's just some hag! Plus the pussy already has a fiancé who's actually cute! What a complete fucking dipshit. Afterwards he feels all guilty, so he goes out, gets trashed, and gets into a brawl. His boss is loving it: "Adultery, violence, and drunkenness have won the day!" he says. Later the fiancé finds out about all this shit, plus the fact that the pussy lied to her about a ton of other crap too (including his fucking name!), but she begs him for a second chance! Nice self-esteem, twat. It's a stupid fucking movie, but the boss is awesome- I was laughing my ass off every time he opened his mouth. They should remake it and have it be more about that guy.