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The Lost World

(1960)

A cranky old professor insists that he found living dinosaurs on this inaccessible plateau, so they round up a bunch of people to check it out. You'd think they'd enlist a bunch of scientists and soldiers and shit, but not these halfwits: they opt for a chick in tight pink pants and red boots (who brings along her ugly dog that she carries in a basket full-on Paris Hilton style) and a singing helicopter pilot. And those are their least moronic selections. At least the helicopter pilot is good for flying them to the plateau, but then the helicopter gets wrecked by a big lizard. The "professor" calls it a "brontosaurus", but any moron can see that it's just a lizard- did anyone ever check this dude's credentials or whatever?

So, everyone wanders around for a while, they hook up with a hot native chick, a green spider that looks like shit attacks, and two more "dinosaurs" turn up and fight each other. The "dinosaurs" are really just a big lizard and a baby crocodile with fake fins and whatnot glued to them, but the moviemakers let them fight for real which is kinda cool in a cockfighting sort of a way I suppose. In the end everyone has to escape through a volcano (of course there's a volcano), and in the best part one dude falls and their big special effect is throwing a puppet of him into the fake lava. Neither of the chicks gets naked, and only one guy gets eaten by a "dinosaur". It's a pretty lame movie.