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The Lost World

(1960)

A cranky old professor guy says he found dinosaurs on this plateau or something, so they round up a bunch of people to check it out. You'd think they'd get a bunch of scientists and soldiers and shit, but not these halfwits: they take a chick in tight pink pants and red boots (who brings along her ugly dog that she carries in a basket full-on Paris Hilton style), and a singing helicopter pilot. And those are the least moronic ones. The helicopter pilot flies them to the plateau but then the helicopter gets wrecked by a big lizard. The "professor" calls it a "brontosaurus", but any moron can see it's just a lizard- did anyone ever check like this dude's credentials or whatever?

Everybody wanders around for a while, they hook up with a hot native chick, a green spider that looks like shit attacks, and two more "dinosaurs" turn up and fight each other. The "dinosaurs" are really just a big lizard and a baby crocodile with fake fins and stuff glued to them, but the moviemakers let them fight for real which was kinda cool in a cockfighting sort of a way. In the end everyone has to escape through a volcano (of course there's a volcano), and in the best part one dude falls and their big special effect is throwing a puppet of him in the fake lava. Neither of the chicks gets naked and only one guy gets eaten by a "dinosaur". It's a pretty lame movie.


 

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