Home

The Magic Cloak

(1914)

This cute chick gets a magic cloak from the fairies and her "brother" (cough) gets elected king in the same day. Meanwhile, their donkey gets pissed and runs away, probably because they forgot all about him and left him standing around in the street with a shitload of boxes piled on his back. The donkey gets attacked by these pirates who live in the woods, but he escapes and rounds up a whole bunch of fucked-up animals to kick their asses: there's a tiger, a lion, a bull, a kangaroo, a little elephant, a six-foot-tall crow, some sort of demon monkey, a cat made out of cardboard boxes, and frankly I don't know what the last one is. It looks like a junkie dressed in a Dollar Store bunny costume. Anyway, all these critters come rolling into the pirate camp and they have this huge rumble. It's ridiculous.

Up to this point this movie was dumb and weird, but at least it made sense. Now they just forget about that though and start pulling all kinds of crazy shit out of their asses: a hot queen who looks ugly in a mirror steals the magic cloak (remember the magic cloak?); round dudes invade the city because they want soup; another fight with the animals breaks out... What the hell? I'm sorry, but that's just a little too much new shit to throw at us in like the last ten minutes. If you're just gonna say "fuck it" and go completely nuts like this, at least show the hot queen naked.