Video Picks for Perverts
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(1974)
When I think "James Bond" I think "hilarious redneck sheriff", so it's a good thing this flick brings back Sheriff J. W. Pepper from the last James Bond movie. Duh. This movie really is fucking pathetic- the bad guy's big shtick is that he has three nipples, like that's supposed to be all badass or something. They should've given him only one nut instead- testicular cancer is way scarier than an extra tit. That's dumb enough, but his sidekick is fucking Tattoo from Fantasy Island. What the hell? He's so fucking lame James Bond doesn't even bother to kill him at the end, and James Bond doesn't have any qualms about killing cripples, fags, or even chicks if he has to. Pretty much everything about this movie sucks- the end happens in a cheesy-ass funhouse, there's a part where James Bond just stands there and lets a couple of teenage girls fight for him, and even the song blows ass: "The man with the golden guuu-uun!!" It sounds like it's being sung by a crow. If I was in charge of James Bond and they came to me with this movie, I would fire everybody, add in some pie fights, and pretend it was supposed to be a comedy. The best thing about it is this chick, and she never even gets naked:
Show us your golden guns! Dammit.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
