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Meltdown: Days of Destruction

(2006)

These idiots decide to shoot an asteroid with a nuclear bomb and a piece of it flies off towards Earth. This one guy says that even if it doesn't hit us we're still fucked, because even a close miss will be like "10,000 nukes going off in one spot". Well that's exactly what happens... and nobody notices! It doesn't even make the news! What the fuck? I guess Nicole Richie did something particularly interesting that day. One thing that does happen though is that the Earth moves closer to the sun, which of course means that everything starts to look orange (you know how orange it gets when it's hot out) and pretty soon the whole world is ending. A cop, his hot daughter, his girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend (smart man- always have a backup), her brother, and the daughter's boyfriend all try to get across town to the airport in time to catch a plane that's supposed to be heading to the North Pole or something, even though it's so hot that everything with a gas tank is exploding. Maybe this particular plane runs on candy. Along the way there's a traffic jam (I like how when the world is ending there's always a traffic jam. Where the hell is everybody going? Seriously.), their truck blows up, one of them gets kidnapped, they get in a couple of shootouts, and almost everybody they bump into tries to rape the daughter (not that I blame them- she really is top-notch). The daughter's boyfriend needs to learn that when a couple of bad guys are standing right in front of your truck it makes more sense to run them over than to jump out and try to shoot them, and it's pretty weak when it turns out that the world isn't gonna end after all (if I was one of the cats who raped and killed a bunch of people, boy would my face be red), but other than that this was passable enough. It does lose an extra five points for not showing the daughter naked though.