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Milo

(1998)

Remember that fucked-up cartoon Life with Louie? That show always creeped me out, because the kid in it looked like a typical little kid, but when he talked he sounded like a 40-year-old child molester. It was disturbing. Well, this movie starts with a kid just like that who somehow convinces these five little girls to come to his house and then kills one of them. Then, when the other four are grown up, he returns and starts wasting the rest. He's still a little kid though, so the main chick* figures he's a ghost and starts to flip out. Later it turns out he isn't a ghost, but I have no idea what the fuck is supposed to be going on- I think he might be a midget, or maybe a clone. In fact, the end is so incomprehensible there might even have been a whole bunch of him. There's just no way to know. There is some blood, and watching a bunch of grown-ups fight a 10-year-old (and lose) is pretty funny, but showing a little kid grabbing an old black man's balls is always a bad idea (even if he does turn out to be a mutant clone midget or something later), and they really screwed the pooch by not showing the main chick naked. She was hot. I especially liked the part where she crawls out of a basement window in a dirty, torn-up wedding dress. Now that reminds me of some good times.

*Her legs were the best thing about this flick- I'm glad she kept wearing inappropriately short skirts to work.