Morgan Stewart's Coming Home

(1987)

This kid whose parents never pay attention to him meets a cute new wave chick who likes horror movies and rides around on a moped. I'd kill every one of you clowns reading this right now and do it with a smile on my face to hook up with a chick like that, so I'm not surprised that he gets pissed off and runs away when his mom fucks it up for him. He ends up smoothing things out with the chick, but when they go to get this cash he has in like a safety deposit box (to use to rent the motel room and buy whisky & condoms, I assume) he finds out that the principal from The Breakfast Club is pulling a scam on his parents* so he has to go back home and save the day. In the end they crash this huge party on the moped and get chased all over the place by military school guys and a jeep, but hardly anything gets fucked up at all, and worst of all they show the new wave chick in her underwear but she never actually pops out the twins. That's no way to make a movie. Next time wreck a lot more stuff and get your girl to do a strip tease for us, Morgan Stewart, or don't bother coming home at all.

*Everyone knows that this guy always turns out to be shady, so I don't understand why the kid's parents even hired him in the first place.

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