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My Best Friend is a Vampire

(1988)

Remember that 1980s movie Teen Wolf? Man that was a piece of shit... Well, this is sort of the same thing except it's a lot better. This kid delivers groceries to this hot lady's house and she comes on to him, so naturally he goes back there later that night to get a little action. It turns out she's a vampire though and she bites him and turns him into a "day vampire", which means that the people who made this movie wanted a lot of it to happen during the day even though it's about vampires so they had to have a moron excuse so that it could, and that was the best they could come up with. At least this kid isn't a complete jackass though: instead of winning high school basketball games (Who gives a shit about high school basketball? Nobody, that's who.) and dancing around on the roof of a van like a goddamned Kansas City faggot, he uses his vampire powers to try to get his best friend laid by punk chicks. That's awesome. There's no nudity or gore, but at least there's a house blowing up, a couple of car chases, and a bunch of gay jokes, because back in the 1980s we just made fun of gay people instead of making it illegal for them to exist.