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Mystics in Bali

(1981)

This chick wants to learn magic, so she goes to the orient or something and tracks down this freaky-ass hag witch with long fingernails. The witch pulls that stupid "shake hands and leave them holding your arm" gag, but she seems to know her shit so the chick lets her draw a cartoon on her thigh with her super-long tongue (by the way, it's way past time to shave those legs, you slovenly bitch). They start meeting all the time to do spells, dance around, "laugh a lot together", and probably watch scary movies and talk about boys. It looks like these two are really hitting it off.

The chick's boyfriend is getting worried though, so he goes to a good wizard in case they need to kick the witch's ass. Sure enough, not long after that the witch makes the chick's head pop off and fly around, and as if that isn't fucked-up enough, the head drags like her heart and lungs and guts and all that crap along with it! Holy shit! I remember this fucking thing from the Fiend Folio! Awesome. The first thing the flying head does is bust into this house, throw some lady through a wall, and then suck the baby right out of this pregnant chick's pussy. The funny part is that the two guys who see all this go down seem a little surprised, but nowhere near as surprised as you would expect considering the circumstances. They must be some seriously cool motherfuckers.

Okay, now things get weird. The main chick turns into a snake, and the next day she wakes up and coughs up some live mice. The witch is young (and almost hot) now, but she has to send the head out one more time to get some more blood. The locals are onto this shtick though, so when the head shows up they chase it away. Meanwhile the good wizard finds the chick's headless body, so he sticks toothpicks in its neck so she can't get back together. The witch and the head aren't too happy about this, so they attack the boyfriend and the wizard and it's a fight to the finish. A bunch of random people come crawling out of the woodwork for this fight (Seriously, what the hell is the boyfriend's ex doing there?) and it's completely out-of-control: people are shooting magic beams at each other; shit's blowing up; folks (and heads) are flying around; and in one part the witch turns into a pig woman with gigantic, saggy tits. You just don't see this kind of shit every day. This movie rocks.