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Neighbors

(1981)

The book Neighbors is about a paranoid, delusional, psychotic fuck who wrecks his neighbors' car, burns down their house, and then dies of a stroke. A lot of it goes down in the main guy's head so there's really no way to make a movie out of it, but of course they did anyway and naturally it sucks. Not only do they leave out most of the stuff that has to be in there for the story to make any fucking sense, but they also throw in a bunch of bizarre crap that doesn't have anything to do with anything. I mean, what the hell is up with the glowing dog? And the quicksand? And the magnetic electrical tower?  Was somebody like randomly drawing this shit out of a hat or something? At least they made the daughter in this version a punk chick and she's looking pretty fine, but we never see her naked so they even screw that up. I'm also pissed that they changed the funniest line in the book - "He tried to rape me." - to "He tried to pork me." How pussified can you get? Seriously, is attempted rape suddenly not funny anymore? I expect that kind of kowtowing from Lee Ving but this is ridiculous. This movie's a huge pile of shit and everybody kind of knows it, so stop wasting your time watching it just because John Belushi is in it, people. Really, try thinking for yourselves for once and do what I say.