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Night Angel

(1989)

An evil demon chick who's been around since the beginning of time* decides she wants to be on the cover of this fashion magazine. You would think a dame like that would have higher goals than a fifteen-year-old girl, but I guess it just goes to show that you can never underestimate a chick. The guy who runs the magazine tells her no can-do though, so she whacks him, plus his wife & kid for good measure. Later the demon chick crashes a party the magazine is throwing and shows off her amazing supernatural powers, like being able to open non twist-offs like they were twist-offs. The demon chick manages to pussywhip almost everybody and take over the magazine, so the main guy and his girlfriend** have to stop the evil before it's too late blah blah blah end of the world. You know the drill. The story's pretty dumb, but there's a guy impaled by a giant spring (after he falls down an elevator shaft); a nerd who gets his knee cut off, and later gets stabbed right through his cast (tough break, Ace); leeches shooting out of the evil chick's mouth; tits with faces on them; hearts ripped out; nudity; a crazy mob; and a big goofy monster at the end, so it's worth a look, even if "Night Angel" sounds like it should be the name of a supergroup featuring former members of Winger and Tattoo Rodeo.

*No, not Joan Rivers. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Seriously, she's such a hag. I'd bag her daughter though.

**The girlfriend is way hotter, by the way. In fact, for a bitch who's supposed to be supernaturally hot and shit, the evil chick is pretty mediocre-looking. I mean, I wouldn't boot her out the door if she was begging for it, but if it came down to her and a really good rerun of B.J. and the Bear it might be a closer call than she'd like to think.