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Nightmares

(1983)

This movie has four stories: In the first one, this incredibly hot chick has to go out for cigarettes even though there's like this killer on the loose. This one really hits home because how many times have you heard on the radio that a killer was on the loose and then you opened the fridge or something and found out you only had like four or five beers left? It's something we can all relate to and shit- plus, seriously, this chick was incredible. The only bad thing is that they didn't show her naked.

In the next story, this kid keeps talking about how he wants to "beat the Bishop". That sounds like he's really into jerking off, but the "Bishop" is actually this video game he's so obsessed with winning that he'll even turn down some halfway decent 1980s pussy to play it. He doesn't have any quarters, though, so he gets some other kid to help him be like this video game hustler (they should have called this story "The Color of That's Fucking Retarded"). In the end he breaks into the mall to play after the arcade is closed but it turns out the game turns real after level 13 and he has this huge laser battle with it, totally destroys the arcade, and gets sucked into the machine. When you stop and think about it (or even if you don't), this is a pretty stupid idea. I mean, who would market a game like that? Think of like the legal liability and shit. Duh.

In story three, this priest loses his faith or whatever, so this evil black pickup truck comes after him. Now I don't even believe in God and the worst that ever happened to me was some guy breaking one of my taillights in a parking lot and then driving off without leaving a note, so what the fuck is up with giving this guy such a hard time? Is it because he's a priest? Most bosses just give you like a bad reference or something if you quit. God sure can be a dick sometimes.

The last one is about this family that has rats. They call the exterminator, but he tells them that they have a "devil rodent" that has eerie powers and shit, so naturally they fire his ass (when an exterminator tells you something like that, you know he's just building up to charging you more). Of course since this is a movie it turns out he's right: the devil rodent comes back and uses ESP to fuck the place up because she's pissed that her baby got iced by a rat trap. When they finally figure it out the dad pulls the baby rat out of the trash and gives it to the mom rat and that seems to satisfy her, even though it's still dead. I guess having ESP doesn't necessarily mean you're smart.

None of these stories have any gore in them and as I already pointed out the one truly hot broad doesn't show off her tits, so I'm not really sure what would make watching this better than watching, say, random episodes of The Twilight Zone or something. In fact, I would say The Twilight Zone would probably be a better choice, because at least that's on TV for free.