
Video Picks for Perverts
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(1983)
Everybody knows that twins are annoying and creepy, and if it wasn't for the chick ones that let you have a ménage à three with them they'd probably be illegal by now. This movie starts with this one twin who whacks these people with an axe when he's like eight years old or something. He puts the axe in his brother's hand so he'll get the blame and so the good brother goes to the loony bin. I guess the good brother never bothered telling his side of the story, because ten years later he's still locked up. One day he escapes though, and the evil brother picks that day to wander around his apartment complex hacking people up with a machete. A bunch of people get killed, but nobody ever thinks to get the cops or anything, and no cops just happen to show up. I mean, that would make sense if they were out in the woods or on an island or something, but you can't even walk around an apartment complex stealing doormats and breaking all the lights with a pellet gun without at least fifty cops showing up out of fucking nowhere, trust me, so it's pretty unbelievable. Lots of this movie was sort of stupid like that, or just annoying, like the part where this dumb hag is trying to call her fiancé and he doesn't answer so she screams at the operator for like an hour. He lives maybe two doors down- just walk over there, you irritating bitch. You'd figure there would be tons of lame "which twin is which?" shit, or in the end there would be a big twist involving mistaken identity or whatever, but it never even comes up which is pretty weird for a movie about identical twins. The murders were fairly bloody, though - that evil brother hacks the shit out of people - and one blonde hottie takes a nice little shower, so I guess it comes out about average.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.