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North Pole Nutrias

(2002)

These two puppet nutrias (nutrias are sort of like swimming rats, except there are some people who actually like rats) get invited to the North Pole to help stop this evil virus that's melting toys. When they get there (by rocket ship) they go to this meeting with a bunch of other animal puppets, but before they can come up with a plan the virus shows up, plays a rock song, and melts the only toys left. Nobody can figure out what to do so they all take a break and go to these shows on the North Pole strip. Santa introduces the shows- his body is a puppet, but he has a real person's head (it's this weird-looking old guy, and he sounds like he's half in the bag). The first show is just some fat hippie in a red suit and a nasty-ass broad who looks like Tammy Faye Bakker singing a Christmas song. It's pretty lame, but the next show makes up for it: It's this dude playing this weird techno song on a fucked-up synthesizer, backed by a reindeer puppet on drums and this amazingly hot chick on maracas. I'd sure like to find her drunk under the tree on Xmas morning. Anyway, everyone decides that this dude's synthesizer is so cool that every kid would want one for Christmas, so they get the elves to make a whole bunch to replace all the toys. The virus shows up to ruin everything and starts bashing the girl nutria's head in, but then the other nutria shoves a pie down its throat, it dies, and Christmas is saved. I guess this is trying to be the most fucked-up holiday special ever, but it just doesn't hold a candle to crazy shit like A Family Circus Christmas. Then again, the Family Circus didn't have a killer hottie playing maracas.