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Oasis of the Zombies

(1981)

There's six million big ones worth of gold buried in this oasis, but it's guarded by Nazi zombies and whenever anybody comes nosing around the zombies eat them. The weird thing though is that somebody's always playing a washing board right before the zombies attack. If these were "redneck zombies" that might make sense, but Nazis hardly ever played the washing board. The gore's not that great and there's only one set of tits - which might just be the smallest tits in the known world (except for Jessica's) - but people do say tons of hilarious shit, like when three dudes and a chick are looking for the treasure and one guy goes: "Six million dollars- the girl doesn't count so that makes two million each the way I figure it." Ha! Or when the zombies attack at the end and this kid says "Let's get some bottles and make Molotov cocktails- like in school!" What the hell? The weirdest though has to be when an old guy comes stumbling into the oasis rambling incoherently about dead people that "came out of the sandwiches". I figured maybe he said "sand" and I just heard it wrong or something, but I rewound it like three times and it's definitely "sandwiches". I also liked the part at the end when one of the zombies is chowing down on Microtits' leg and he just sticks a couple of his fingers right in her crotch. I guess when you're a zombie you get it where you can.