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The Ogre

(1988)

This famous horror writer and her family rent a castle, but when she checks out the basement it's exactly like the basement she used to have nightmares about when she was a little girl! Some weirdness goes down and she starts to freak out, but her husband tells her it's all because of her imagination and shit. "Honey, why don't you stop writing horror stories, huh?" he says. Now, since hubby doesn't seem to have a fucking job that would probably derail his gravy train so if I was this guy I'd keep my trap shut. Later when she loses her temper because he won't listen to her he takes a pretty ballsy step for a freeloader and slaps her in the mouth. She gets pissed and runs off, but moments later her humiliation is complete when she gets cornered by a cow and he has to rescue her. Tough break, Women's Lib. You gave it your best shot though, right? Anyway, it turns out there's an ogre wearing Shakespeare clothes (you know, like pantaloons and shit) living in the basement. He looks like a complete fag. The ogre attacks a couple of random, mediocre chicks and then comes after the main family, but the writer broad runs it over with their Jeep Cherokee and it dies. The end.

Duh.