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Once a Hero

(1987)

They're gonna cancel some dorky superhero's comic book, so he comes to life to try to make people believe in him more, or something like that. His plan is to help this bucktoothed kid who's being picked on by bullies, because I guess he figures a kid being saved from bullies is such world-shattering news that he will immediately be thrust into the international spotlight and everyone will buy his comic again, or at the very least those Comic Book Grading Company guys will encase a bunch of the old ones in solid plastic and sell them for 900 dollars each on eBay.* Unfortunately for him it turns out the only superpower he has in the real world is looking like a complete homo, so the bully's crook dad and his friends kick the shit out of him. The superhero gives up and runs away, but his friends end up getting kidnapped so he has to come back and rescue them by tricking the bad guys into thinking he has superpowers again, and along the way he learns that being a real hero comes from the heart (gay). Hopefully that valuable lesson will comfort him in the future when somebody calls his bluff and shoots him in the fucking face.

*You can't fool Mr. Satanism, you cocksuckers- I know you just pull the covers off and wrap 'em around old Casper the Friendly Ghosts or something.