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One Million Years B.C.

(1966)

Everybody always talks about how great this movie is because there's this one hot chick in it, and I guess she is pretty hot, but she never gets naked so I don't see what the big deal is. It starts with this caveman who gets thrown out of his tribe so he walks across the desert 'til he finds a new one. The new cavemen are all blond, and they are superior in every way, with better tools, better weapons, and hotter chicks (I guess it's a Nazi thing). The one caveman takes their hottest chick and heads back to his original tribe, and along the way they see some dinosaurs. When he gets back, two chicks have a cavegirl cat fight, which was probably the best part of the movie. Then more cavemen show up and they all fight for some reason, but it all comes to an end when the volcano blows up, because that's how these movies always end. Why do cavepeople always live right next to active volcanoes? That's what I want to know.