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On the Comet

(1970)

This huge comet appears in the sky and keeps getting bigger, but none of the dipshits running around at the beginning of this movie are very impressed. The main dude is particularly chill about it: "It's probably just another planet, heading for us at a fantastic speed," he says. Well, the bastard crashes into us, a big chunk of Earth blows off Space 1999 style, and a whole bunch of French soldiers and A-rabs end up trapped on the comet. Even worse, there's dinosaurs all over the place and they start attacking the frog fort. Guns don't really bother the dinosaurs, but the frogs manage to scare them off by making noisemakers out of pots & pans. Then, since they don't need them right that exact second, they decide to throw all their guns down a well. Brilliant. You're not hungry right now either, so why not throw all your food down there too? And the dune coons still have their guns, so now the frogs are screwed. Leave it to the fucking French, right? Most of the special effects look like the cartoons from "Monty Python", there's no gore, and none of the chicks get naked, but this movie is so goddamned weird it's actually worth watching anyway: there's a walking fish that evolves into a pig in like ten seconds, an old-time boat with smokestacks that turn into cannons, puppet dinosaurs, and tons of other crazy, fucked-up shit. The only really bad part is the very end, when it turns out it was all just a dream. Seriously, that's so weak.