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Outrage

(1998)

This is another one of those movies where the criminals get away with everything and they come up with a bunch of ridiculous reasons to have the good guy get in trouble instead ("Sorry, but you were double-parked while they raped your wife, so we're gonna have to take you downtown."). I guess we're supposed to be "outraged" at like the miscarriage of justice or whatever, but I'm more outraged by the fact that I wasted my time watching a movie that was this goddamned retarded. It starts when these private school kids vandalize this guy's car, and after he calls the cops on them they start fucking his whole world up. I guess private schools are better, because the main kid is like Fletch meets fucking MacGyver- he builds his own gizmo that shuts off car alarms, wears disguises, installs locks in other peoples' apartments... I'm surprised by the end he didn't design a perpetual motion device that turned tap water into gasoline as a byproduct, just to fuck with this one guy. Seriously, who goes to this kind of trouble? The most hilariously moronic part is when the kids destroy the main guy's entire apartment and graffiti all over the walls and the cops look at it and say "There's no sign of a break-in." I know cops hate doing paperwork, but Jesus Christ. Of course the kids forgot that when you trash an entire apartment and don't wear gloves you leave fingerprints everywhere, but that's okay because the imbecile who wrote this movie didn't remember that either so the kids get away with it again. Nothing's worse than a bunch of little nancyboy private school asswipes, especially when they think they're hardasses, so the main guy finally flips out, grabs the kids' leader, and holds him hostage while like a million cops surround them. The police finally figure it all out though so the main guy lets the kid go and the cops just let him stroll off down the middle of the street like nothing ever happened. He doesn't even get a ticket for jaywalking. Seriously, was this movie written with Colorforms? If I was a cop I would find the person who came up with this piece of crap and bust her for anything and everything every chance I got, including spitting on the sidewalk and illegally downloading the Celine Dion Christmas album. It would serve her right for making cops look like complete dipshits, plus if she was in traffic court every day maybe she wouldn't have time to write any more shitty movies.