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Pervert!

(2006)

This college kid goes home to visit his dad, and it turns out the old man married some fat blonde whore while he was gone. Seriously, this chick is rogue- it looks like somebody put a Swiss Miss wig on a manatee and then gave it a boob job. The blonde comes onto the kid like gangbusters (it's like watching a ham flirt), and I guess he has pretty low standards because he starts banging the holy hell out of her. When the dad finds out he's seriously pissed and replaces her with a brunette, but it doesn't really matter because later both these chicks turn up dead. The kid thinks the dad did it, but it turns out it's really a killer penis. I guess that would be pretty fucking hilarious if you were ten years old, but who is? There are a lot of tits in this movie, but most of them lost the fight with gravity a long time ago, and having a lesbian scene with two fat chicks is like promising someone a free steak dinner and then kicking them in the junk instead. The old man says some funny shit though, and it is pretty gory, so I suppose if you like cock and fat chicks this might be the movie for you. If you're that person though please don't e-mail me to defend it or anything, because frankly I'd rather not know that you exist.