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The Phantom of the Opera

(1962)

Phantom of the opera movies are always so gay. Here's an idea: if you have like this big problem with the opera or whatever, don't be the phantom of it. How hard is that? This time the Phantom is pissed because some shady dude stole his music, so he hangs a guy and pushes his body on stage during a show, then he stabs another cat (both those guys were innocent by the way; the phantom never bothers to kill the dude he's pissed off at in the first place). These cops are on the case, but after a while the head detective or whatever says that some crimes "aren't meant to be solved" and just gives up. Your tax dollars at work. Later the Phantom kidnaps this chick who's like the big star of the opera and takes her into the sewer. She's pretty cute and this one dude was well on his way to getting in her pants, so he goes looking for the Phantom's hideout to save her. When he finally finds the Phantom, they don't even fight or anything- the Phantom just tells this fucking sob story and the boyfriend decides to let him go. I guess he would have gotten away with it all if this huge chandelier didn't fall on his ass totally by accident a few minutes later.

So, to sum things up: the Phantom got revenge on the wrong people, the hero didn't even try to stop him, and the cops quit because catching him was too hard. What the fuck kind of  movie is this?


 

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