Home

The Pick-Up Artist

(1987)

This annoying, smarmy dork goes around hitting on every piece of ass he sees, and eventually one of them makes the mistake of giving him some play so he starts stalking her. Okay, so it is Molly Ringwald and she's fucking fine, but once he finds out that these mob cats are after her because her lush of a dad owes them 25 large you'd think he'd go back to jerking off; even an all-expense paid visit to Molly Ringwald's pussy isn't worth getting whacked by a bunch of wops and tossed into the river. Molly must be the only one who ever gave it up to him though (not that that's surprising), because he keeps chasing her around anyway and being completely fucking irritating. In one part, she loses $13,000 on one hand of blackjack and the dork comes up to her and says "Why don't you try gambling on me?" I would've kicked him in the junk right there. Of course she doesn't and in the end everything works out for everybody. The dad is even spontaneously cured of being a drunk. I'm willing to watch almost anything with Molly Ringwald's primo ass in it, but damn, this one was pretty brutal.