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Point of Fear

(2006)

This musclehead doctor* is all upset that his ugly wife and dork kid died, so he decides to go crazy and start murdering and kidnapping people. Unfortunately, this is one of the most boring movies about a bunch of people getting murdered ever made, plus it's filled to the brim with stupidity. In fact, if the stupidity in this movie was coffee, you would probably end up spilling it all over your crotch and suing the key grip. Here's some of the dumbest parts:

• Someone gets a call on one of those old-time wall phones and somehow knows the number the other person is calling from. I guess it's the only phone in the world with a hand crank and caller I.D.

• In one part the killer tells someone that this chick can't come to the phone because she's "tied up" and - get this - she's literally tied up! Ha ha! Fuck you.

• The sheriff looks so much like a retired pro wrestler that when he got in Doctor Muscle's face in one part I half expected them to start hitting each other over the head with folding chairs and shit. In the end when they actually did get into it and started wrestling around and bashing each other in the head with random stuff I almost fucking pissed myself.

As if all that isn't bad enough, most of the murders are completely weak and neither of the chicks, who are both pretty cute, show off their tits. They don't even show the one chick in her bikini when everybody goes swimming! Look, if you wanna make a movie with a couple of your buddies from the gym and some hot chicks you're trying to nail that's fine by me, but if it turns out this lame do the world a favor and just don't show it to other people.

*Yeah, this guy's a doctor like I'm the fucking Pope. Doctor of Bench Pressology, maybe. He probably just pretends to be a doctor so he can have access to steroids and shit.