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Project Grizzly

(1996)

This movie follows a real-life redneck who built a suit to fight grizzly bears with. You might wonder why anybody would bother doing something like that, but he's Canadian so, you know, enough said. The best part is the beginning where they're testing the suit by swinging logs into him and hitting him with baseball bats; they even run into his ass with a fucking truck! It's hysterical. He also walks through fire with it, in case the grizzly has a flamethrower I guess. Finally they go out looking for a grizzly to fight, but once they get into the mountains they find out that you can barely walk in the damn thing so they have to leave the suit behind and even though a grizzly actually does show up the main guy doesn't fight it! Are you kidding me??? You puck-sucking, maple-chugging, jackass yokel pussy bitch. If you make a movie about a motherfucking grizzly-fighting suit than somebody sure as hell better fight a grizzly, and if your half-assed gizmo won't work in the woods then you need to break into a goddamn zoo or something because this is complete bullshit. God dammit I'm pissed off. Fuck you, redneck idiot. Fuck you, Project Grizzly. Fuck you, Canada.