Prophecy

(1979)

This movie has pollution, Indians, and the EPA, so we're knee-deep in hippie bullshit from the first second. Then all these "monsters" appear, like a giant tadpole (pretty dangerous, if you spend a lot of time hanging around that drainage ditch behind the Winn-Dixie) and a giant salmon (them's good eatin'). I was gonna write this one off completely, but they finally up the ante when the Prophecy shows up: it's this giant bear that looks like it got too close to somebody's campfire, and it's cool as fuck. The Prophecy knocks this one kid into a rock and he explodes (which would have been awesome, except there's no blood), and finally it ends up chasing the EPA morons and Indians all over the woods (it probably doesn't help that they're carrying around one of the Prophecy's babies, fucking idiots). This could've rocked, but in the end almost everybody gets away! Fucking weak. If you're gonna make a monster movie, do us all a favor and check to make sure your sack hasn't fallen off first.

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