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Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud

(2007)

The Hatfields and the McCoys? You've got to be shitting me. For those of you who don't watch old Bugs Bunny cartoons, the Hatfields and the McCoys were these two real-life hillbilly families who were always fighting with each other because somebody stole somebody's pig, or somebody else tied some "kin" to a tree and shot 'em a few dozen times. You know, childish pranks. Hillbillies killing each other is pretty goddamned hilarious, so the whole thing basically turned into a big joke, plus all this shit happened back in like historical times anyway, so making a serious movie about the Hatfields and the McCoys in 2007 is kind of retarded. This is Pumpkinhead 4 though, and Part 4 is usually the "in space" one, so I'm guessing they couldn't afford that this time around and this was the next stupidest thing they could come up with.

It starts when two McCoys (or Hatfields, whatever) are chasing a girl through the woods and she gets killed. Since nobody lets you pay off your law school loans in moonshine* there aren't a whole lot of lawyers in hillbilly country, which means that they have to settle all their disputes by summoning Pumpkinhead. That's exactly what her brother does and Pumpkinhead starts icing people, but he doesn't have an off switch so pretty soon everybody's fucked. One dude trying to escape from Pumpkinhead cuts his own leg off with a hunting knife, another guy tests a bear trap with his face, and plenty more people get ripped to pieces before Pumpkinhead finally falls down a well. It's a decent enough flick, but the one thing I don't understand about these movies is why nobody ever just hops on a plane and flies to, say, Europe to get away from Pumpkinhead. There's no way he could come after you then; I mean, do you seriously think they would let Pumpkinhead onto an airplane? He probably doesn't even have a passport.

*Except of course Sallie Mae