Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1989)
The thing that sucks about being a stalker is that you never even know you are one until after the fact. For example, if you end up marrying the chick that time you eavesdropped on her in the elevator to find out where she works or got drunk and raped her at the disco becomes "romantic". I guess that's what the kid in this flick is going for, but frankly I can't figure him out. Half the time he acts like he's the Ferris Bueller of landing tail, and the other half of the time he's totally confused and asking random people for advice. So which is he supposed to be, a lovable loser or a lovable scumbag? Irregardless, of course he falls for one specific girl (it's the main chick from Say Anything), and of course she's dating some other douchebag*, and of course she has to be all fickle and indecisive and go back and forth between the two until you start to wonder why either one of them would want to put up with such a flakey, game-playing cooze in the first place. It's the same old fucking story, and frankly I'm sick of it and it's the number one reason why I started punching chicks in the throat on the second date. Puts things in perspective for them. Anyway, the main kid finally wins and gets the chick to move in with him, and in the most realistic twist in romance movie history once the sex gets old he realizes that she's just an annoying, disgusting slob who doesn't want to do anything but have babies. Ha ha! Naturally in the end he decides he wants her anyway, but she's leaving town so it's just like the end of Say Anything except they're in London so instead of swimming after a boat he has to throw himself in front of a tube. At least that's how this pointless movie should've ended. Either way he's committing suicide, right? On the plus side we do see a lot of the Say Anything chick's tits, and while I wouldn't major in them I'd definitely take their class as an elective. If not seeing enough of her tits was your biggest complaint about Say Anything like it was mine, you'll definitely want to check this out. * It's main guy from Bad Influence, playing the same smarmy creep he plays in every movie except Bad Influence.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
