
Video Picks for Perverts
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(1988)
Remember how you spent the 1980s feathering your hair and driving around listening to Phil Collins? Well, while you were doing that (loser), these kids were remaking the entire Raiders of the Lost Ark movie. Of course it looks completely ridiculous, but it doesn't matter because the real reason to watch this is to see little kids setting themselves on fire, being dragged along under moving trucks, and doing tons of other crazy shit that could've gotten them killed. Seriously, where were their parents? At any rate it's pretty entertaining: they don't skimp on the blood, there's a dog (standing in for the monkey) that heils Hitler, and frankly the main chick in this version is way hotter than the one in the original. The parts where she was within a stone's throw of being legal (it took them like years to do this) made me wish the real Raiders of the Lost Ark had had a lot more nudity in it. Also the main kid is actually a better actor than the original Indiana Jones (not that that's difficult or anything). This is almost impossible to see because the kids are grown up now and prefer not to get their asses sued off, but sometimes they show it for charity and shit so if you get the chance you should definitely check it out. And if the chick shows up, make sure you e-mail me and tell me if she's still got it.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.