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A Really Intimate Portrait
...of a Complete Unknown

(2006)

This DVD is just a massive burn on that Lifetime show Intimate Portrait; it's exactly like a regular episode (I mean, what I've heard one is like), except it's about a chick who hasn't actually done much of anything. It sounds horrible but this broad totally nails it and it's fucking hilarious: Lifetime has officially been owned, so bad in fact that I should probably spell it with a "p" like the kids do ("pwned"). Plus she's actually kinda hot and we see her in her underwear at least twice. Lifetime will probably sue her ass into oblivion, but since she's a chick I'm sure they'll feel obligated to make an unauthorized Lifetime Original Movie about her struggle with the lawsuit and then she can turn right around and sue them. It's the circle of life.



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