Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1989)
Nobody wanted Swamp Thing to return, but he did anyway. That chick from T.J. Hooker, Heather Lockheed or whatever, goes to visit her stepdad, but he's a mad scientist who wants to live forever by doing some fucked-up thing or another to her, which I didn't quite catch because I was distracted by her legs. (I was never into Heather Lockheed before, but she's looking mighty fine in this movie and I'd definitely put it in her butt here. Nice thigh-highs.) Swamp Thing hates the mad scientist anyway, so when shit starts to go down he creeps in, busts some heads, and saves her. After they get away there's this part where it looks like they're gonna fuck, but it never quite happens, which is too bad because Heather Lockheed pretending to hump a Swamp Thing costume just might have been one of the coolest things ever put in a movie. This movie fucks up a lot like that- like there's a smokin' redhead who almost gets some action, but they never follow through so we don't get to see her tits, plus there's this super annoying little fat fuck of a kid I wanted to see get tortured to death or something but he survives. Instead of proven crowd-pleasers like naked redheads and dead fat kids, all we get is Swamp Thing throwing people around. And what the hell is Swamp Thing doing driving a car? That's just ridiculous. If even one of the hotties in this movie showed us her rack or that fat kid died in a really, really horrible way this movie might have been okay, but as is it just sucks the root.
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