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Revolt of the Zombies

(1936)

Nobody believes this Cambodian priest when he says he can make zombies to help fight World War Part 1, but then when he proves it everybody freaks out and they put him in jail! You can't win for losing. After the priest gets murdered they decide to send this expedition to Cambodia to find the secret and destroy it once and for all, since it could be dangerous in the wrong hands and besides their beliefs and culture are stupid anyway. Unfortunately, the guy who actually tracks the secret down (after following this cat through a swamp in the fakest walking scene of all time*) is a complete fucking tool. He creates a entire zombie army, but all he has them do is force this ugly broad to marry him! Then he sets them all free just because this old wheelchair dude tells him he's being a jerk! How wishy-washy can you get? And the zombies don't even kill anybody! Well, except for this one dick who tries to get the formula from the main guy using flattery ("You are a clod. I, a man of imagination."), and he just gets strangled. It's probably the weakest zombie movie ever made.

*Seriously, this is fucking pathetic. How do you screw up a scene of people walking?