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Saturn 3

(1980)

A spaceship captain is suiting up or whatever when he bumps into this other cat in the locker room: "That you Benson? How ya doin'? So you blew the mental test huh? Potentially unstable? Yuk Yuk". Captain, you are a complete fucking dipshit, but it is pretty cool when "Benson" blows you into space and you get chopped to pieces by these wires or something. Moron.

You'd think that if someone was going to take off in one of your spaceships you'd maybe check his I.D. or at least ask him his name or something, but that's not the case this time and the crazy guy just climbs into the dead captain's ship and flies away. He ends up landing at this base where there's only two other people: an old dude and a young chick. The chick is fairly cute so the crazy guy decides he wants a couple of helpings, but she's not having it because she's already screwing the old dude. Later the crazy guy builds this big robot that works off his brainwaves or some such stupid crap, so of course it's crazy & wants to get busy with the girl too. The girl doesn't want to fuck a robot though, so it gets all frustrated, tears this little dog's head off (take that Paris Hilton), and then goes completely bananas so they have to shut it down and take it apart. The robot puts itself back together, though,* and then the shit really hits the fan. It ends up taking over the whole ship so finally the old dude has had just about enough and blows it (and himself) to pieces. There were some pretty good gory parts in this (especially when the robot kills the crazy guy and wears his face like a mask Chainsaw Massacre-style), we see the chick's tits, and best of all in the end the moral is: if you're an old guy with some hot young pussy just blow yourself the hell up and stop holding her back. I can't agree more: send that pussy my way.

*For shit's sake, don't build a robot that can put itself back together again. I mean, come on, use some common sense here. Dumbass.


 

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