
Video Picks for Perverts
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(2007)
This movie is only like 20 minutes long, but apparently that's plenty of time to be utterly deranged and completely inept. Five nip kids go into this haunted hospital and then suddenly total incomprehensibility breaks out: a ghost sporting chapatsu (That is so 1997. Weak.) comes after them with a chainsaw, another ghost attacks this constipated dude with her hair while he's camped out on the shitter, one of the kids gets possessed (I think; he could just be an asshole), and it all leads up to the chick ghost grabbing the chainsaw ghost and like repeatedly punching him in the face in one of the most hysterical fights I've seen in a while. In the end the dead kids come back as zombies, but they can barely walk much less kill anybody and one zombie chick just ends up sitting on the floor crying like I Love Lucy. And the guy who was all clogged up? Constipated for eternity! Seriously, you laugh but that would suck. This whole movie is completely random and looks like it was put together by people who have never seen an actual movie in their entire fucking lives, but it's fairly bloody, there's some hilarious Engrish (like: "You are timid again. Everything will be fine."), and you really can't knock this smokin' piece of niptastic ass:
Like most chicks she looks particularly fine when she's cowering in terror, although I don't think she put very much thought into her hiding place:
"How ghosts find me? It is not to be believed!" Lucky for her hot trumps dumb. Jesus.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.