Secret of NIMH

Why are they always making cartoons where fucking vermin are all heroic and shit? Mice, rabbits, rats, yippy little dogs... Why not make a cartoon about a tapeworm while you're at it? Or a liver fluke? I'd like to see you pull that one off, Disney. Anyway, this mouse family lives in a cinder block (swank), but they need to leave because a farmer is gonna plow the field the cinder block happens to be in. They can't move one of the baby mice though because he's sick*, so the mom mouse goes to these rats for help because apparently rats are like the 10th Level Magic Users of the animal world. The rats say they'll move her house for her since they used to roll with her husband, but then this one rat betrays everybody and drops the damn thing right on their rat wizard's head. A rat swordfight breaks out, but then the bad rat buys the farm when another rat chucks a knife into his back ninja-style. The cinderblock ends up sinking in the mud with all the little disease-carrying mouse kids inside, but fortunately for them (if not us) the mom mouse uses this magic medallion and lifts the whole cinder block to safety, kind of like Yoda did with Luke Skywalker's spaceship in The Empire Strikes Back, except in that case we knew Yoda could do things like that and they weren't just completely pulling it out of their ass. And really, if the medallion could do that why didn't they just use it in the first place and save everybody a shitload of trouble? Retarded doesn't even begin to cover this movie. The mouse mom is pretty hot, though. If I was a mouse I'd fuck her.

* Sorry, but I was rooting for him to die; it sure beats him surviving to get into my house later and poop in the cereal or something.

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