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The Seed

(2006)

Remember when The Matrix first came out and everybody got so excited that they came and shit all over themselves? I guess because the main idea was kind of cool nobody actually noticed that it had (Bill &) Ted in it, didn't make any sense, and was a stupid piece of shit. Well, this movie is along the same lines, but it's like a hundred times better. Basically this dude has some implant or something that only lets him see what The Man wants him to see, but he's hip to their jive so they send these freaky assassins after him. And he just beats the absolute fuck out of these jokers- it's seriously awesome. This movie kicks in more dick in like twelve minutes than all three Matrixes put together, mainly because it knows when to fucking stop. If the first Matrix knew when to end (either right after Ted first finds out he's in the Matrix, or possibly just before they decided to put Ted in it in the first place) it actually would've been an okay flick, but since it didn't I suggest you watch this instead. If nothing else at least you'll save yourself six hours of pretending you actually buy Ted as a badass.