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Seizure

(1974)

Things aren't going so hot for the main dude in this movie- besides having a bunch of houseguests (who are all complete assholes- nice friends, loser), he's having nightmares, the radio says that a bunch of killers are on the loose, someone strung up his wiener dog, and Tattoo from Fantasy Island is creeping around and peeping in his windows. I always knew that obnoxious little prick was a fucking pervert. Later Tattoo and his two friends (a big black guy and a chick) break in and start busting up the place. They tie everybody up, then the chick tells them "You will do as you are told, though nothing will make sense." That bitch definitely has this movie's number. Tattoo gives one broad some face cream that makes her ugly (well, she was pretty goddamned ugly to start with, but the cream makes her worse); they force all the people to run a race around the house and kill the loser; the black guy chops somebody's head off; and it all ends with Tattoo chasing the main dude through the woods while goofy music plays. Then it turns out it was all a dream! Then it turns out it wasn't! Then the milkman comes! What a piece of shit- there's not even any gore or tits. The only good parts are when this one cat kicks the shit out of Tattoo (take that you dwarf bastard) and when one of the chicks has a knife fight in her underwear. That was pretty hot.