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Shadow of the Hawk

(1976)

This old Indian cat travels 300 miles to find his grandson, then tells him all he wants is a ride back. At first it seems like he's just trying to be a pain in the ass, but it turns out he needs the grandson to help him fight this evil witch.* The first time we get a good look at the witch she's dancing around with a snake and making all these other chicks kiss, so that settled it for me: I don't know what these tomahawk-chuckers are squabbling about, but I'm definitely taking her side. That doesn't mean I think she's smart though- her spells are pretty cool to watch or whatever, but it seems like it would be a lot less trouble if she just did things by hand without all the horse-and-pony bullshit. Like the spell where she's dancing around with the snake and has a bunch of other girls kissing plus one guy supervising or something seems like it would be a lot of work to organize, and all it does is make this snake appear and bite the old Indian while he's sleeping. Wouldn't it have been easier to just put the snake in a box, shake it up 'til it got really pissed off, then throw it at the guy? And all he does when it bites him is rattle off some gobbledygook and the snake catches on fire. Another one of her evil spells loosens their lug nuts (wow), but then the old Indian just sprinkles some powder in the road and makes a magic invisible wall that the car chasing them crashes into. I think it's pretty obvious by this point that the old dude's magic is way tougher than the witch's: she really should have thought twice about starting all this shit because frankly I think she bit off a little more than she can chew. Needless to say, when it's all wrapped up that's exactly the case and she's one more fine piece of witch ass nobody'll be tapping since the good guys end up breaking her neck. Stupid twat. We never even got to see her tits.

*Not that she's much a witch: one of her big tricks is to have a car run them off the road, and another one is to just have five guys beat them up.



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