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She Creature

(2001)

The worst thing about mermaid movies is that they're almost always about loooove, and hardly ever about the mermaid flipping out and sending a bunch of people to Davy Jones' locker.* Well in this flick, these jokers get ahold of a mermaid and take it on this ship with them, and it does flip out and kills just about everybody. Here's a good rule of thumb: if you catch a mermaid, don't take it anywhere on a boat, because then it knows that if it manages to kill enough people it can probably get away. If I had to take a mermaid someplace, you can rest assured that we would travel via desert, and if there wasn't a desert between where the mermaid was and where I wanted it to be, I'd cut that bitch's head off first. Fuck Oceana. There's some blood, plenty of mermaid tits,** and the mermaid turns into a freaky-ass monster at the end to like facilitate it's bloodthirsty rampage, so unlike certain lousy rip-offs I could mention (Cher) it actually delivers just about everything you could want from a mermaid movie. The only real fuckup is that they don't show the human chick's tits- she's ten times hotter than the mermaid, plus if you tagged her you wouldn't have to spend the whole next day picking scales out of your dick.

*For those of you who don't get the reference, Davy Jones was one of the Beatles.

**Every hour of every day is a wet t-shirt contest when you're a mermaid, so they usually don't bother.