Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1992)
"Sleepwalkers" are like these giant hairless baby hamsters that like to eat virgins (duh- who doesn't?). The only thing that can stop them is cats, so this movie's a lot like that time your sister's gerbil had babies and Mittens got in the room, except you have to sort of imagine that the gerbils killed a bunch of cops before Mittens finished them off and hid what was left in the laundry basket. The sleepwalkers in this movie are disguised as a kid and his mom (and they're fucking, which would be awesome if she was better looking). The kid finds this hot virgin (they really should have shown this chick naked) and tries to suck out her soul, but she stabs him in the eye with a corkscrew and when a police cat attacks him and fucks his shit up she escapes. The cops show up, but the mom is pissed now so she starts kicking serious ass: She kills Ferris Bueller's dad, throws a broad through a window, stabs a cop with corn*, bites another cop's fingers off, and grabs a gun and blows up two police cars with only two bullets. Nice shootin', Tex. The mom kidnaps the virgin chick, but by now every cat in the world is after her and they jump all over her and start attacking, so she's breaking cat's necks and throwing them all over the place. Finally the sheriff shows up and, in the most awesome part, blasts her with a shotgun and sends this cat that was hanging on her back flying across the room. Mom hamster impales the sheriff on a picket fence, but she can't stop all the cats so they fuck her world up and she catches fire and dies. They really should've had some tits in here, but any movie with this much blood and this many dead cats is okay in my book. * After she does this she says; "No vegetables, no desert. Those are the rules." What the fuck does that even mean? I'm pretty sure the cop wasn't planning on taking a break from fighting the killer hamsters so he could sit down to some pie or something. Duh.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
