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Smokey and the Bandit Part 3

(1983)

The Bandit isn't even in this Smokey & the Bandit movie (except for one small part at the very end, when Sheriff Buford T. Justice finally cracks up and starts hallucinating or something). Instead, the Sheriff and the truck driver guy who was the Bandit's sidekick or whatever run around trying to steal this big plastic shark from each other. That truck driver is a fucking idiot, but it almost doesn't matter since the only reason to watch a Smokey & the Bandit flick is to see cars crash into shit. Here's a list of the stuff people crash into in this movie: traffic cones, a milk truck, bags of ice, fences, a doghouse, a cart full of hot tar, barrels, signs, boxes of eggs, flower pots, piles of garbage, a shopping cart, a wall of fire, and of course other cars. Naturally the Sheriff says all sorts of redneck colloquialisms or whatever, but you can tell he's losing his mind early on because half of them don't even make any sense, like when he goes "I'm as confused as a baby raccoon." What the hell does that mean? Are baby raccoons known for their confusion or something? Actually, there's a lot of weird shit in this movie that doesn't make any sense. Like why are naked people always popping up everywhere? And why do the two bad guys drive around in a car full of milk when they could just open the doors and let it all out? You know what? I think this is one of those movies like Fight Club where most of it didn't really happen the way we first thought because the main guy is crazy and his perception of events or whatever can't be trusted. I think Sheriff Buford T. Justice went insane because he couldn't catch the Bandit in the first two movies so now he's hallucinating this zany adventure and is just driving around smashing into stuff chasing a completely imaginary guy. Wow, that's some pretty heavy shit. Now that I think about it, this might be the best Smokey & the Bandit movie of them all.