Home

The Snow Devils

(1965)

Well it turns out kicking the catalytic converter off my car didn't cause global warming after all- it's actually alien abominable snowmen (sporting green leotards and pimp-ass gold medallions) who want to flood the planet! It's a fucking space emergency and only one cat can handle the job, but he's on leave! Space Command checks all the places he might be - playing Putt-Putt with a babe in a bikini, hanging out at the gym with a Japanese stereotype ("I'm so sorry. Commander reft an hour ago.") - and finally they track him down playing checkers against some little kid (and losing, I might add). Once he's briefed on the situation stat he locates the snowmen's base and trashes it, but it turns out they have another one in outer space and naturally it's a race against time to find it before the whole world is turned into beachfront property. It sounds pretty wild so it's too bad almost nothing actually happens in this flick- most of the time everyone's just sitting around running data or telling someone else to engage the "eon drive" (I think they meant "ion drive", but who the hell knows with these clowns). At the very end they drop a bunch of asteroids on the snowmen, which is relatively hilarious, but the rest of this wop movie is just a boring, lame-ass pizza shit.