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Someone's Watching Me!

(1978)

Mediocre women with huge gaps between their teeth must have been in pretty short supply in the 1970s, because every time the chick in this movie turns around some drip is putting the moves on her. Then she starts getting stalked by this goofball who spies on her with a telescope, makes crank phone calls, sends her weird presents, controls her electricity and her elevator, and even bugs her apartment so he can listen to her talk to herself, which even in his position is probably a bit above & beyond because frankly she's kind of annoying. After this weak, pointless, boring shit goes on for like a decade* the cops finally get involved, so the stalker frames this innocent pervert and cools his jets for a while. Then when the cops think the case is closed he turns up again and kills the main chick's best friend, but of course this movie is so fucking lame that they even manage to make that part suck. Finally in the end it turns out the stalker is like the city building inspector, and he's able to pull it all off because he has keys to every building and elevator in Los Angeles. You would think that a city as big as Los Angeles would have a bunch of building inspectors, but nope, just the one. So where does he possibly find the time to do all this shit? He does it during his vacation! So let me get this straight: Los Angeles hires one guy and trusts his ass with the keys to every single lock in the entire city, and every once in a while he puts in a request for some time off so he can use the keys to break into places and freak out & murder random chicks? That's so fucking retarded I don't even know where to start. In the end the gap-toothed bitch stabs the building inspector and he falls out a window, but if you ask me they should've thrown this whole fucking movie out the goddamned window.

*There must've been like twelve different parts where the phone rings... the chick looks all freaked out... she answers the phone... and it's the stalker! Just like the last eleven times she answered it. Jesus Christ, get a fucking machine.


 

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