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Sorority House Vampires from Hell

(1998)

I had a hard time reviewing this movie, because my thesaurus doesn't have an entry for "shit". It starts in 3-D, but the 3-D doesn't work right which is too bad because this part shows a half-naked Asian chick dancing around, then this amazingly hot chick sticking her tits in the camera. I have to be honest, if the 3-D actually worked, this might have been the single coolest thing I ever saw on a television screen. But since it didn't, it just looked like a blurry hot chick showing her boobs. I've seen that drunk tons of times. Well, once.

Anyway, the main story is in 2-D, and it's about this cute blonde chick and her two annoying friends who want to join this sorority. Things don't go as planned though because this nasty, ugly skank vampire who looks like Michael Jackson turns up and starts making people into zombies. Eventually she zombifies almost everybody and the blonde and her friends have to kick their undead asses. Then it all ends with a music video. It's not bloody and only the ugly chicks show their tits, but the music video was pretty good- the song rocked and the girls in the band were ten times hotter than the ones in the movie. I wouldn't mind helping that keyboardist make babies, that's for sure. Unless I had to, you know, hang around after they were born and shit.