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Space Sentinels/The Freedom Force

(1977/1978)

Space Sentinels is a cartoon about these three bozos who protect the world from evil. There's a big blonde guy, a black chick, and an Asian dude, and they all have this big "T" on their belts because "T" stands for Space Sentinels. Even worse than their illiteracy though is the fact that all their costumes are pastel- seriously, it looks like Miami Vice exploded all over these clowns. These are, by far, the gayest-looking superheroes I've ever seen in my entire life. Being queer doesn't mean you can't kick ass though, and they manage to save the world from giant robots, evil time-travelers, a hot underage blonde chick who controls wolves (they should've shown her naked), and a bunch of other bad guys. My favorite though is when they fight Captain Nemo: in one part he tells the black chick his typical ridiculous cartoon supervillain plan and she's all condescending to him like she doesn't deal with shit just like that every other week. It's fucking hilarious.

I don't know what the fuck is up with The Freedom Force. I think they just picked random names out of a hat and decided to make a show out of them, because it stars Hercules, Merlin, Isis, a samurai, and Sinbad, who's like the Aquaman of the group because I don't think he does a single thing in any episode. I can just picture him hanging around his boat all afternoon while everyone else is saving the world, hoping that this will be the day that they need to sail to some island to get a roc feather or something. What a loser. I also noticed that "Hercules" is the same guy that was in the Space Sentinels. I wonder what the hell is up with that? Did he fuck up somehow and get the other two killed so he had to join a new group? You would think they'd check his references for something like that, but maybe it was more important to them to recruit as many mismatched goofballs as possible so they just let it slide. Superheroes are weird.