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Spellcaster

(1988)

All these dipshits (including a bunch of hot chicks who never get naked, even though two of them get laid and another one takes a shower and gets raped by a monster) go on a reality show where they have to look for a million dollars in this old castle. This movie starts out okay, or at least not totally moronic, but pretty soon everybody seems to get retard-itous: this one cat attacks somebody with a knife, but nobody cares; another dude decides to eat lunch instead of looking for the money; and I guess everybody forgot they were making a TV show because the camera chick isn't even filming anything- she just sits around smoking cigarettes! It turns out it doesn't really matter though, because the whole thing is actually a scam by the Devil and everybody starts getting killed by all these completely random things: a chair, a flying tapeworm that pops out of some armor, a snake made out of electricity, even a guy with a pig head. I think the people who made this just went through the special effect dude's garage and grabbed whatever he had lying around, because none of it makes any sense at all, not that that it makes any difference anyway since everyone who dies just comes back to life at the end anyway (weak). Worst of all, when it's all over the Devil becomes a VJ and invents American Idol. Okay, so maybe your little scheme (whatever the hell it was) didn't exactly pan out the way you expected, Satan, but there's no need to be that much of a cocksucker. Jesus.