Home

Spring Break Shark Attack

(2005)

This chick lives at home with her parents who are totally lame and don't want her to go on spring break and get super drunk and fuck strange guys, so she sneaks off and goes anyway. It sucks for her though, because this is the year some dude is trying to make it the worst spring break ever and dumps all this blood in the water so sharks will come. They eat a few people, then a whole bunch of sharks team up and attack all at once, but they're pretty selective and mostly only eat people who are dicks. The chick and her friends dump more blood in the water to lead the sharks away (actually, I think in real life that would make them have a feeding frenzy and kill even more people, but whatever), and then she finds true love or some such shit. What I didn't understand is why everybody was fighting over the main chick when her two hottie friends were like ten times more fuckable. It wasn't very bloody, either- all the bikinis were nice, but this was a case of too much Spring Break, not enough Shark Attack.