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Stomp! Shout! Scream!

(2005)

This is another one of those goddamn fucking flicks that tries to pretend it's old but doesn't have any funny or interesting parts that make it better than just watching an old movie in the first place. I am seriously sick of this shit- it's like the movie version of tracing. Basically it's about a chick band and a bunch of other idiots who get attacked by a "skunk ape", which if you're from Florida you know is this mysterious creature that's the missing link between skunk and ape. Or something. Usually having a chick band in a movie means at least there's something to look at, but that's not the case this time because two of them are dumpster-ugly and the third one (the drummer), who's actually worth a sticking, never takes her clothes off. In fact, no chicks get naked in this movie, which might be okay if it was gory, funny, interesting, or just didn't exist at all, but it doesn't have any of those things going for it so the only reason for you to watch is if you're like a "skunk ape" completist, which means this flick needs to go on your want list right next to the only other skunk ape movie I can think of, Erin Brockovich.