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Le Streghe: The Witches

(1966)

This movie has five different stories in it, all with the same chick. The first one and the last one totally suck: in one the big twist is that she's pregnant, like anyone gives a flying fuck. Who is this dumb bitch that I should care if she's knocked up or not? I didn't fuck her. In the other one, she spends the whole time complaining because her husband is boring and doesn't pay enough attention to her. Hey, he works six days a week to support your ass: if you don't like it I'm sure he'd be happy to draw you a floor plan of the house with all the exits clearly marked.

The other three are better though. One just shows that people who live in Sicily are always shooting each other, like that's some big revelation or whatever, but another one is about this chick who offers to take a dude to the hospital just so she has an excuse to drive really fast and be on time for some appointment. Then she just leaves him bleeding by the side of the road! Ha! That's actually pretty funny. It sounds like something a chick would do. The one in the very middle is the best. It's about this goofy guy and his goony-ass son who wears bright orange pants and has matching Elvis hair. Seriously, check this cat out:

The goofy guy's wife just died, so they go looking for another one. They look for a whole year and finally they find this hot chick with green hair, but she won't talk to them. When this loud truck drives by they finally figure it out though:

"Papa, she's deaf and dumb!"
"She is? Then I'm going to marry her!"

He's not a picky man. They get married and everything seems like it's going to work out, but then the husband decides that they need more money so he has the chick pretend she's going to jump off this building unless people give them donations. The plan works, except then she steps on a banana peel and falls off for real! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's good shit.

The main problem with this movie (besides the fact that there aren't any tits) is that there aren't actually any witches in it. I was thinking that maybe "le streghe" meant something in frog or Latin or whatever and that would solve the mystery, but it turns out it's wop and it means..."the witches". It was an okay flick, but come on, that's gotta be false advertising or something.