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The Studly Coalition

(2006)

Three of the biggest douchebags you've ever seen go to this bar to pick up chicks. You know those guys you used to get drunk with right after college but now you don't return their phone calls? This movie is like hanging out with them. Later they fool around with some mostly ugly chicks who frankly could still do better, have exactly the kind of conversations you would expect people who flunked out of community college to have ("...all I do now is work, train, and bone."), and it all ends with a music video so fucking queer they should've just filmed themselves jerking off to a Backstreet Boys poster. Here's a suggestion to all you striped shirt-wearing morons whose parents bought you a video camera last Christmas: nobody wants to see a movie about you and your pindick friends' "adventures" because they're all fucking lame and frankly so are you. The only hilarious things about you driving drunk, puking, or banging tons of chicks are, in order, hitting a telephone pole at 80 mph, everyone "forgetting" to roll you on your side, and AIDS. The only good thing about this movie is that's it's so fucking retarded that it will probably become legendary and the phrase "The Studly Coalition" will inevitably become slang for a pack of dorks who go from bar to bar macking on girls and then starting fights when even the fat chicks turn them down. I know that's how I'm gonna start using it.